Abstract

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that English is a very boring language.

We have almost no accents above or below our letterforms. No written clues to give character to our speech. The most ambitious we get is the difference between a greasy spoon cafe (caff) and a more upmarket café (cafae).

Yet there are unmarked variations in the way that the length of vowels change with dialect. A Southerners bath (barth), is so very different from a Northerners bath (baf), as are our parths and pafs, aunts and ants, do you Parss the Pasta, or Pass the Parsta?